What people said was: "We're with you, you're a fighter and we will get through this."

Things that helped me were simple things; a note, a call, a card, an e-mail, a touch, a hug, a look of caring. Doing nothing is the worse one can do. Some feel IF they have to cook a meal, or send expensive gifts they can't afford it or don't have the time; they do nothing. Trust me, the simple things are so needed and valued. Other nice thoughts were, one friend put an empty container by my front door. If I wasn't up to company, then they could leave some flowers, whether picked from their garden or simple bought ones. What a touching thing to offer. I had an e-mail support group from relatives and friends in another state. They would write me, which I loved and I would respond. Whenever I had a major test done or another chemo completed, I would send the whole group a short update and the next day I would have so many encouraging notes. When I was feeling discouraged I gently mentioned this to my support groups because they would respond in such loving ways, wanting to give me the strength I needed to cope. Support groups get you through and if your friends don't know how to do it: TEACH THEM FAST!

One caution: Once in remission my support group disappeared and it was a little too soon. I didn't want to be a burden to them since my treatments took over 6 months, I told them about my great results of being in remission and even though they sent me good cheer, they stopped communicating after that. I totally understand that they have their own life and time is valuable but it would have been so helpful to have had a little communication from them a month later or even 6 months later. That became a very hard time for me because I went from all this wonderful attention to very little and emotionally it was a challenge. However, my sister remained there for me and my sweet husband so I managed to work through this down time and am fine now.
B