This really is a choice...unlike the murder of unborn children.

When I was married in 1970, I took my then husband's name. It was the expected thing to do. When I was divorced in 2001, I decided to keep his name because I had lived over half my life with the name, and the change would have been too much trouble to make. I now regret not keeping my name because I wish I had it now. My sister-in-law did not take my brother's name, and I wish now that I had done the same and kept my own name.

Yes, a woman should take her husbands last name.  The children should have thier father's last name.  I believe the same last names publicly shows family solidarity. 

I am also a Christian and feel the husband is the head of the household and my identity is not too wrapped up in my maiden name.  When I marry my husband I become one with him, and I feel that I should (and will be happy to) take his last name.

I am in my late 20s and don't see many people my age who are openly willing to do this.

This is not an binary "either / or" situation. What is at issue is if being independent, self sufficient is more important that the Union provided by Marriage, then don't marry. With the various assaults that marriage has endured recently - most of the advantages (inheritance, property, legitimacy of off-spring) of marriage are no routinely provided by court regardless of the fact that one or both of the parties chose not to formally marry.

Palimony is just as enforceable by court order as is a reasoned, conscious decision to share your life with (not just your bed) another person. Marriage is no longer relevant, in the greater picture, so, if a wife chooses to forego the legal, cultural common recognition of being "off the market" then she should not be questioned about her reluctance to make commitment that will change her identity. Neither should the husband. I do pity the children though. Serial polygamy has replaced permanency when it comes to long term relationships, might as well forego any recognition of intent to maintain a permanent bond with one person. Got to keep that "Get out of Jail free" option open.

In some Asian cultures, the husband takes the wife’s family name, in others there is no expectation that the wife is expected to give up her name. And in European history, it has long been acceptable for the more important, influential family name will take precedence – whether that means the wife or the husband will give up their previous surname. Mix ‘n match.

i.e. – Hillary Rodham - Clinton and daughter Chelsea Clinton. See how well it works out.

My father and I had this discussion shortly before he passed away when I was 15, and he wanted me to keep my last name, but had the idea to drop my middle name and add on whatever my new last name would be. That way, my maiden name would always be apart of me and I would also be able to take my husband's name. I think it's a great compromise. I believe, at most, I would hypenate both last names and my future children would have my husband's last name only. I don't think you really have to "give up" anything anymore.

I believe taking one's husband's name is a choice. I chose not to do so with my current husband.

I did take my first husband's name, and I hated the way my name sounded. I was uncomfortable with my name through the years we were married. I took my maiden name back after the divorce. When I met my current husband, we chose to have a child out of wedlock. I never had a problem with having a different name than my child. As a matter of fact, many daycares and schools are used to the mothers having a different name due to the high divorce rate.

My husband and I chose to get married three and a half years ago, after being together for over ten years. I kept my maiden name because I saw no reason to change it. We'd been in a relationship with two separate names for over a decade. The way I see it, nothing changed in our relationship when we married, so why would I change my name?

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

I have been married for 42 years and have my husbands name. I also lived in Uruguay, South America, where the tradition is to use both names, for example: Barbara Walker de Giardino, Walker being my maiden name and Giardino being my husbands name. Your children would have both mother and fathers last name so in the future, people would knew who was the parents of the child. I like that tradition very much, especially for the legal documents. You can keep your identidy and also your husbands at the same time.

I don't know what you all think about this, but in the olden days people used their husband's last name out of happiness, respect and appreciation as well as identification. It made sense to me to do so because when being wedded, the two of you are to become as one. Now how can you do that with the female running around as a Campbell and the male as a Smith? There is no connection there at all. No way can you be noticed as husband and wife without announcing it like this, "Oh, by the way, I didn't take his name, I just kept my maiden name".

(Problem) If you have a child, whose name does he get? The mother's or the father's? That could cause some bad issues right there. Give a man credit where it's due. If a female wants to use her maiden name (for example) she can always do Sharon Campbell-Smith. That way, she will have her name and his. Pure logic. Then the child or children will be Smith's. That's not such a bad idea, is it????

I don't know what you all think about this, but in the olden days people used their husband's last name out of happiness, respect and appreciation as well as identification. It made sense to me to do so because when being wedded, the two of you are to become as one. Now how can you do that with the female running around as a Campbell and the male as a Smith? There is no connection there at all. No way can you be noticed as husband and wife without announcing it like this, "Oh, by the way, I didn't take his name, I just kept my maiden name".

(Problem) If you have a child, whose name does he get? The mother's or the father's? That could cause some bad issues right there. Give a man credit where it's due. If a female wants to use her maiden name (for example) she can always do Sharon Campbell-Smith. That way, she will have her name and his. Pure logic. Then the child or children will be Smith's. That's not such a bad idea, is it????

I believe every couple is unique and therefore should make the decision that best suits their relationship. I am getting married in October and have been struggling with the name change idea. I think I am going to keep my maiden name and add on my finance's last name - no hyphens. Professionally it just makes sense for me. My last name is pretty unique and my client's tend to remember my last name before they remember my first. By using both names, my client's will still recognize me and both socially and on paper I will share my fiance's last name. We have decided that any children we may have will take on his last name. I think this is a fair compromise. I am fully committed to our relationship and future marriage. Just because I would like to keep my maiden name for professional reasons does not mean I do not agree with the solidarity of our family. I can choose to be both self-sufficient and independant while still respecting the lifelong union I will have with my husband.

My husband took my last name. He didn't like his last name and I was established in my job too. Plus there was no one to carrry on my last name too. He already had nephews with his last name to carry on the name.

It all depends on how strongly one feels about the issue. I married late in life for the first time and kept my maiden name as my husband was previously married and his ex kept his last name. My husband has no problem with this and we will not be having children together, and he has 2 grown children from his first marriage. If he had a problem with this, then I would have kept my maiden name as my middle name and adopted his last name.

When I got married a couple of years ago, my now-ex and his family acted insulted when I didn't want to change my maiden name to their name. He wouldn't even talk to me! After thinking about it, I decided to take it not only to make them all happy, but because I thought our marriage was strong and it sounded more exotic (it is a Greek name) than my maiden name, which I found to be rather geeky. Now, even though we're no longer together, since it was such a hassle to change my degrees, bank accounts, license, social security, passport, etc. to his name, I have still kept his name, though I no longer want it, even if our daughter carries his name. Trust me, if it wasn't such a hassle and waste of time waiting in line to get all these things corrected, which require me to miss a whole day of work more than likely, I'd do it, but in this economy, taking time off from work is too risky. It's too odd if he remarries and his new wife and I both have the same name, plus everyone asks if I am Greek which then leads to a long explanation, even on first dates, where I did not want to reveal I was married at one point (I like to be a private person and feel this topic should be brought up only if something serious with that new gentleman starts to develop). Most men are shocked to know I was married due to the lengthy explanation of my last name, and then when I tell them I also have a daughter, no second date ever comes along.

Anyhow, I think it's a personal decision but personally, in the future, I will wait before changing names if I ever remarry, in case I have to change names again, I suggest women keep their maiden name followed by their husband's name in case they end up divorcing so it's not so much of a hassle, unless the husband doesn't mind you keeping your maiden name in which case, this would be the best deal as you don't have to change your whole identity, pretty much (license, bank accounts and other documents). Maybe after a certain amount of years of marriage, when I feel comfortable it will last, I'd be willing to change my name to his but until then, I probably wouldn't take the chance.

When I got married in 1980--it was pretty easy to get my name changed. When my ex divorced me in 1998--I kept my married name--which was not a good idea.

When I moved from NV to VA--just to get a VA driver's license I had to have my marriage certificate. To get a copy of marriage certificate--I had to send a copy of my picture ID with a current mailing address on it to the state in which I was married. I did not have one because I could not get one without the copy of the marriage certificate I needed.

I had to get one of my adult children to apply for it and when she got it, send it to me.

I would not have needed the marriage certificate--if I had not changed my name!

I never expected to get divorced so I changed my name an if I had to do it over again, I would keep my maiden name--it is easier to deal with the bureaucracy--if all your identifying documents (birth certificate, social security card, drivers license and college transcripts) all have the same name on them.

It's up to the woman. Personally, I use both last names and my children have both last names.