Hi. I'm really thankful I found this article because somehow I can relate to this kind of situation.We love each other so much and we have been steady for 4 years now. But my problem is my boyfriend who has no ambition in life and he wants me to accept what he is and lots of times I've been helping him to become successful but he's not helping himself.Sometimes I got hurt because I have so many dreams and plans for both of us and I'm thinking if he loves me then he will have dreams for us also and for our future family.I have been thinking if I will break up with him because I know in the future this will cause problems.I need your help please.What will I do?

Since it is "Forest Gump" week on AMC I will use this phrase...."Run Forest, Run!". A good relationship is one that has shared values, shared dreams. Helping someone that wants help is one thing, "helping" someone that is unmotivated is a waste of precious energy. He may love you but quite honestly, love isn't jack when there are bills to pay and you are the only one working to pay them! You are the fool when he has clearly asked you to accept him as he is. He won't change. He is being honest. You are very lucky that he is being this honest with you. Life with a bump on a log is very, very, very long, dull, unrewarding, unfulfilled and exhausting life.

I am in similar situation as well, and I have been with him for almost 8 years. We met when I was in college. He does not like formal study, but he is very clever with his own research and very hands on and likes to try new things. Unfortunately, his earnings is very irregular, so I am the main breadwinner. When I came home from work, tired and stress, it frustrates me to see him at home, knowing he spent his day enjoying his leisure time. He does domestic work and very handy around the house. He works casual, said that he has no confidence to find work. He has his way to make me forget about my stress and be happy. I really enjoy my time around him. But, when I think about his unproductive time, every little things he does will irritates me. Should I compromise?

This is such a hard one because i have just been dumped after a 3yr long relationship which i am finding hard to deal with but because he found me boring and said i would never be happy because he didn't have the same views and ambition for life as i did.

I know I love him very much but I want to have a good life style and not really have to struggle, I want for my kids to go 2 uni like i did ( he didn't go) and yknow if you don't look at the big picture it will never work.

I wanted so many things from my relationship but never felt i had the security some of my friends have with their partners. He just felt like things were just gonna happen if he worked hard then someone would realise he is doing a good job.

I wanted him to be more self assured but he couldn't offer that.

So please really think about what it is you really want because like i said as much as i love him i'm not the super market checkout girl and i will never be happy being that kind of girl living that kind of day to day life I want more and i feel i deserve more and so do all the rest of you.

So life for your dreams and allow your lack lustre dude to do him and you do you cos if you don't it will just cause problems

We broke up last night. No fights, just me acknowledging that I'm not going to marry someone with no ambition. He said he is tired of me pushing him to be someone he's not. I'm not as sad as I thought. And I am consistently reminded that I can make a better choice in my next partner. One who wants to get married, who dances, doesn't smoke cigarettes and drink beer on the couch while channel surfing. You can do it too ladies.