I would not want to walk alone in N.Y. at any time. 12 and under that's a real no brainer. NO...

Looks to me like the parents should have at least had a trial run with the boy.

Dano, they did do a trial run with him, but he still got lost.

Most Kids 6 or 7 Y.0 but for American kids the age would be 15 due to lack of common sense.

You should know your own kid's potential.

That aside, 9 is way too d a m n young to walk anywhere alone in 2011

It really does depend more on the area you live in and the capability of the child. My son is almost 7 and I let him walk around r neighborhood to his friends houses. Several children live in our area. Not to mention we live in a small town where I know every single one of my neighbors (and most the town) and we collectively watch out for each others kids. I grew up in Phoenix and if I were still living there and raising my family then I would not let my son do so. Not b/c of him but b/c of other ppl.

I was closer to 15 when my mom let me walk around Phoenix but 10 where I live now. She was pretty over protective though which ended up suffocating me and I rebelled as most children do when their parents put them under lock and key.

Nowdays I wouldn't let a child walk anywhere alone.

We used to walk all over town in the 60's. My kids walked all over town in the 80's. Things have changed.

Tinkerfaire & Tina: You 2 are so right. In the 50's & 60's, kids were just let out to play all around our hilltop ( @ 300 houses). We also had 2 cops living up there. Just be home by the time the streetlights come on was the general rule.

In the 70's & 80's when my boys were growing up, we lived in a small town. I could watch them walk or ride their bikes to elementary school from my front window. The went up to the end of the block where the crossing guard joined them & walked them back the same way after school. This was when I didn't take them or pick them up for weather or a Dr. appt.

They also had a playground at the end of the block monitored in the summer by a recreation dept. employee ( college student). They rode their bikes to middle school & H.S. until they got their drivers licenses.

But just like we were taught, we always stressed their going places in pairs; safety in numbers!

I don't know when you did this, but in the 60s there was always a group or several groups of kids walking to and from school, or up to the swimming pool, etc. Today everyone is scared. It's going to be hard to find a "neighborhood of parents" who allow their kids to walk to school.

And I really don't think there were as many boogie men roaming around in those days.

Not a good piece of advice. There have been several perverts who have used young kids to lure other kids into their trap.

It is an excellent piece of advice. Would you be more likely to tell your child to "go find a man who is alone and looks creepy" or a Mommy with kids? Geez, some people!

" If your child gets LOST tell them to Find a Mommy with other children"

I wonder if this would have helped Jaycee Dugard.............I girl that was held by a WOMAN & her husband.

Jaycee, was not lost, she was kidnapped by them. She did not approach them and they did not have children walking down the street or in a park. They pulled up in a van. If you are going to do comparisons, make them relevant.

Wow, I'd hate to be your kid. Talk about overparenting and smothering them....FYI the world is actually safer than it was "back in the day", we just hear about more and hear about it faster today. It isn't like pedophiles and people driving in vans with candy just got invented last year. Oh, and walking in groups, that's something that kids can't do now and is just something that was done in the past? Really? Wow, didn't know that.....cut the cord, jeez.

And yes, I have kids, 2 of them, and when they are of a reasonable age (2.5 yrs old and 4 months don't quite qualify yet) we will let them walk alone and we will worry like crazy when we do, same thiing when they get their driver's licence too, that's what part of parenting is about. Teach them as much as you can, hold their hands while you can and then let them go and trust that you've done a good job. It's not a perfect world but you can't keep them on a leash or wrap them up in bubble-wrap for god sake. Nuff said.

I feel so sorry for you.....you need to turn off Fox News and read a book perhaps....I'll leave the insulting comments to you, seeing as you've got nothing to contribute to the discussion. Enjoy your kids, or at least try to. Nice job trying to equate keeping your kids safe and a parent leaving them in a hot car. Again, I feel so very sorry for folks like you.

to: tiredofbothsides...why don't you just put them up for adoption now...I guess you must not get the news where you live..This world is EVIL and it is YOUR job to protect YOUR child but you are gonna just let them walk home at a reasonable age. HMMMM hope you don't cut the cord when they need you most. I guess you leave your kids in the car too while you run inside the store for "just a minute"

I'm just curious....does letting them walk home at a reasonable age sound that crazy? the way you put it up there makes you seem a little out there lady....ooohh, my god, how could he say such a crazy thing such as that.....call the police and put him in jail......I guess the "right" answer in your books is never?......sigh, it takes all types folks.

Alisha the world has always been an evil place, but you didn't hear much about kidnappings much before the 90s like you do now. Doesn't mean it didn't happen. Back then more people watched out for each other. At some point you do have to let your children grow up.

tired, Im with you. I have 5 kids, ranging from 25 to 5.. Anyone with common sense knows there are times when you have to allow your child to be independent.. cant blanket statement and say never.. so much depends on so many factors.. (area, neighbors, distance, time, schedule, etc). For instance ill let my 7 year old walk to the bus stop which I can see from the house and let him play in the yard where i can see him from inside (in a development in the country off the beaten path).. we have no roads nearby but secondary... this is acceptable.... to me.. would I let him walk in NYC? hell no. There are huge differences in the circumstances of allowing a child to spread their wings.. weigh all those and act accordingly.

Ya know - it may never happen to your kids! You may just frustrate the he** out of them! Now that would make them NOT want to stay around you much when they get to 18. My sis is like you - she has NEVER hardly ever let her children out of her sight - she says to me - you don't know how many se*ual per*erts are out there? Oh really??? Well your children will never leave if you are successful at controlling them and if you are NOT successful at controlling them they will NEVER leave! Comforting thot - I think there's something in the middle there!

I agree wholeheartedly, commonsense has to prevail above all else...both on the side of protecting and the side of nuturing adult behavior as kids grow up. It would seem that commonsense is lost on some folks though, gotta love the internet community at times!

CommonSenz - I think that peeps who live in NYC are desensitized to the amount of danger that the LARGE city evokes to most of us. I wouldn't live in NYC if you paid me a buzzilion dollars - but that's just me I HATE large cities ... I have a niece who lives there and I have NO idea WHY she would want to live there - the pollution etc. But the young boys parents can NOT be at fault b'c many peeps in the community do let their children walk alone IN NYC. There were other comments on the article of the death of this boy where someone said they see 5 year olds getting off of buses alone and crossing busy streets ... and those children get home alive! They are safe everyday that they do it.

I'd rather be called overprotective ANY day than to have to bury my child. I agree with LoveBNamom. Judge me if you like, but I won't apologize for being over cautious :)

tiredofbothsides and common senz...both of you are right on. Being a good parent also means knowing when to let your kids do things on their own and in regards to the issue of letting your kids walk alone there are many factors that have to be considered like common senz said, not just one blanket statement for all. Again that is part of being a good parent, understanding the situation and knowing your child to determine when the two come together how involved you really need to be. Another part is one that also includes having the proper talks and discussions with your kids. You will never be able to cover everything with them so don't try because you are wasting your time, you can only hope that what you have covered will be enough and that it will allow them to fill in the gaps. As far as what happened with this kid, in my opinion I think he was too young considering the factors for his situation, but it appears the parents thought they had it covered with him and well, here we are today. Unless some reason is found as to why they let him walk, besides just thinking he was old enough to handle it, then I cannot say anything else about it at this time nor really put a large amount of blame on the parents.

Alisha and Love you both need to get a clue and I feel sorry for your kids. Being a helicopter parent and doing everything for them will only set them up for a big let down in the real life adult world. Funny how people who work and live in that world go home and raise their kids as if that world doesn't exist. Maybe you don't don't work in that world. There are winners and losers and there are no performance trophies! There are also not boogymen around ever corner like the media wants you to believe just waiting to snatch up your kids or rob you, ect. Fear is a great manipulator and device used to control others, hence why we see it every single day in the media and currently used by our government when they explain the reasoning for doing half of what they do. Think for yourselves! Are times different now, yes, do you need to be mindful and aware of your surroundings, absoultly. Time have changes and we have to learn to cope accordingly. Should everything be like it was back then? No, there where plenty of things parents did that they shouldn't have. But we also can't go crazy and put our kids in a bubble either. Leting your kids do their own thing does not mean you just cut the kids off and say good luck. You can still be there for them, just not for every little bump or fall. Also, do your kids have any discipline or manners? Usually I find people like yourselves don't let your kids do anything alone but then have no control over your kids either or have taught them proper manners - your kids are the ones running around and hollering when in public - you would think if you are going to dictate that much of what your child does and spend that much time with them you could at least teach them how to behave...but I digress.

It is time for people who can't seem let their kids do anything on their own to step back and to finally let go. We can't continue raising our kids with a constant safety net under them at all times. At some point they will have to feel the pain of hitting the ground if we truly want the to learn and grow into productive adults. This also means when we do start to let go that we understand the situations and have done our best that we know how to prepare our kids and do our best to make sure the kids can handle it. Try your best to find that balance.

To the family of this little boy, I give you my condolences and wish you the best. I hope that you will be able to recover from this. May god be with you.

I believe that yes, there is a certain point in a childs life where children are old and mature enough to branch out do things on their own like walking to school and such, if it is a reasonable distance. I do have to say though, 8 is way to young for any child, boy or girl, big or small, to be venturing out alone anywhere, much less Brooklyn. Sure, this was a close knit community, but as has been proven here, it only takes one time, one bad person to completely devistate your entire life like this man has done to this family.

I have children and I am an over protective mom, and I have no shame in it. My kids are very independant and have no problem giving them their space and them discovering their own individuality and their own limitations. But at a mall or department store, they do not get out of my site. At little league baseball games, if they are not playing, they are sitting watching the games not running around with other kids. If my children have to go to the restroom when we are out shopping, I go with them. When they are at home playing outside, I check on them every ten to twenty minutes and I live in the middle of no where and my house can't be seen by passing traffic.

I do this because I love my children and I couldn't imagine a single day of my life with out them. Protecting your children is not smothering them, it's loving them and them knowing that you will do absolutely everything in your power to protect them from the evils of this world, which at any point in time, can be just around the corner.

I am heart broken for this family, can't even imagine what they are going through, however, I pray to God that they protect their other children more so then they did this one.

And to those of you that think being over protective is a horrible thing, I hope that some day, you don't find yourself in the same situation as this family.

It's a bit self-righteous of you to attempt to sympathize with the family, while judging them at the same time. That family loved and protected their child just as much as you do. Everyone has different values and beliefs in raising their children. No matter how much you think you protect your children, harm may still occur.

It doesn't matter if you are 8, 16, 25, 35 or 60 years old, if have the unfortunate fate of coming across a person who is looking to do harm, you will get hurt. The parents are not at fault - the killer is!

At least you got to walk downhill.

I had to walk 10 miles each way, both uphill and in the mud.

I NEVER let my girls walk to school or from school alone. A while back, they asked me at what age were they allowed to walk home from school. I told them 21.... maybe.

My daughter was concerned with bears and moose when she walked home in Alaska ...

Louie Lou, actually they could LEGALLY walk home alone at the age of 18 ...

and when they are 15, 18, 21, 24.......?

Even at that age....one has to be careful!

No one is SAFE! You shouldn't even be out - right?

I'm not that scawed! BOO TO YOU!

magnoliaave, all the while leaving your child with a rag over its nose and mouth?

Well shucks, magnoliaave, if I were you, I wouldn't let my grandchildren ride the bus either, all it takes is one drunk driver to hit the bus and injure an innocent child, especially since busses don't provide seat belts. And why are we even letting these kids go to school, someone there might eat a peanut butter sandwich, and my kid is allergic. "All it takes is for one nut..."

Everyone here is so friggin' dumb; it’s amazing you people don't need assistance while dressing yourselves in the morning. This whole problem with child abduction is the fault of the media and people like YOU. The facts are this; child abduction and violent crime against children have decreased every year since the 80s. EVERY YEAR. Sure the studies state there are a lot of reported abductions each year, somewhere in the neighborhood of 800,000. But of those, 200,000 or so where family abductions, 60,000 were abductions by family friends or people well known by the kid/family, and almost the entire remainder were something else, like runaways or lost kids or something similar who were brought back or returned unharmed. Only about 115 abductions each year turned out to be actual abductions by strangers, or the so called "creeps" you dumbasses claim are everywhere. 115 out of 800,000. That’s a 0.014% chance. Most of the abductions ending in a child's injury or death are due abductions carried out by family or friends. The truth is the people that cry aloud about "stranger danger" and "safety in numbers" are far more likely to kidnap a kid and kill them than some strange looking guy you'd see on a street.

If you let your 9 year old walk to and from school every day of every year of their k12 education, the chances of them getting snatched up by someone you or they don't know are so negligible, the very notion of worrying over it should make you scoff. But it doesn't, because most stupid people feel they have to have a wage a crusade or express public outrage over something that barely exists. They do it to feel like they're making a positive difference instead of ACUTALLY PERFORMING ACTION to make the world a better place. The hatred towards these non-existent "boogie men" and the lynch mob mentality you jackasses flood into our society does infinitely more harm than good. You're basically shouting for a court system based on "Guilty before proven innocent" which makes you look like ignorant village folk with torches and pitchforks hunting for a monster that isn't there. If this guy wasn't terrified of being tried for kidnapping and probably rape, which you people LOVE to tag people with, this kid would probably still be alive and with his folks. All he did, as far as any of you guilt branding jackasses know, was give the kid a place to stay until morning when he would take him home. If he wasn't absolutely convinced the parents of this boy would call the police and have him arrested and put in prison for the rest of his life, there wouldn't be a dead kid here and there wouldn't be a news story and no one would have known about any of this.

Pull your heads from your asses and read the freakin' facts once in a while, you dumb sheep. Think for yourself and seek out the facts on your own instead of consuming everything you see on TV or read in your opinion slathered newspapers without question. Your horribly misdirected collective outrage has killed this child and no doubt many others. It’s your fault he's dead, and it’s your fault the children of this nation are having their identity and childhood ripped away from them. You claim to act in the name of safety and family, but all you're accomplishing is raising weak children that can't take care of themselves and getting kids killed where they otherwise wouldn't have been. You're the monsters here. You're the boogie men responsible for all of this. Shame on you.

Agreed.

Better to be safe than sorry. Kids are too precious to take a chance with. Heck, I'm an adult and get creepy vibes when I am out and about sometimes and would never think to walk by myself on walking trails near by due to what is reported daily on the news.

Of course, today's world is different when 'we' were kids, but there are some things that remain the same - educating your child about the world around them and how they need to behave in that world.

Sad thing is, if the only world you present to your child is full of rapists, murderers, pedophiles, etc, their world is going to be a very small, scary place. They will feel comfortable no place, and venture out very little. Thats very sad.

Sounds to me like the parent/s in this sad story didn't educate their child properly, nor did they take time to find out if their child was comfortable with walking home alone, or what to do in case he got lost. Maybe living in that closed neighborhood fostered a false sense of security (in both the parents and the boy)?

My question is...when the mother finally decided to call 'authorities', she called a neighborhood watch sort of group; why did she not call the police? Valuable hours were lost.

I'm NOT saying that she should be held negligent, but it just doesn't seem all that reasonable to me if you believe your child is missing that you would call the neighborhood watch....IDK, I don't live in NY, so maybe there's something I'm missing here...?

Just thought of an idea that may be "BEHIND" THE TIMES, BUT WORKED WELL. My best friend's mother graduated H.S. in the late 1930's & HER mother always made her carry an old-fashioned hat pin with her. One time when she missed the bus & had to walk home in the winter-dark early-she WAS grabbed by a man & let him have it in the face with the pin. Needless to say, it was the last expected thing he ever would have guessed she would have done. I've remembered that story all these yrs. & although hat pins are hard to find now, it IS an idea esp. with the element of surprise.

IF they had had cell phones commonly like they do now, I would have made my sons carry them too. Great idea. All they have to do is get a 9/11 call out & not only does the number show up, but they can triangulate where it is coming from.

V. Bevis cell phones now have GPS on them.

I agree with you! Children are children and they should be treated as such. I don't know if I'll be ready when they go to college, maybe I will go back to college then too! lol

Seriously? When they go to college? I'm sorry, but if your child is in high school and you can't trust them being able to get to and from school without asking a stranger for help, your children have issues.

I have two boys, they are 7 and 9 and I am a bit of an overprotective parent. They are allowed to play in our yard, but not to go anywhere else unless they are with a group, have their cell phone on them, and then only if I know the parents at the house they are going to, but to say that will hold true 10 years from now is assinine.

Yes, there are dangers in the world, and yes, it is always possible that some whack job will grab me while I am walking around the pond by myself, however, you cannot live your life in abject fear of the unknown and by what-ifs. Not allowing your teenage children to grow up and have independence before they go to college is going to make for some very maladjusted college students.

College? Really? I hope you're exaggerating to make a point. Otherwise, I not only feel sorry for your children, I feel sorry for the rest of us who'll have to put up with the helpless, dependent adults you'll be releasing into the world. Sounds like you're going to have your kids living in your basement well into their 40s.

Dana,

I don't think I can argue with your logic. But going into a business of some sort is another place hopefully of safe refuge. I am now a 72 year old grandfather, but as a kid I walked the railroad tracks to a place I used to fish from. I walked often the 3 miles to the private parochial school I went to. There were no school busses to take but there was the electric street car and then electric busses later on.

I do think of my grandchildren having to walk to school at some times. They are, or I think they are, less street wise than I was at their age. Even at 13 when I went to a private Parochial HS in Boston where there were often drunks and shady folks in doorways when I arrived or left my stop in the city transit system. At that time I left home at 6:30AM to get to school on time, using Public transportation. I think that exposure was a part of my learning experience. All the protections and care in the world will not prevent a determined perp. Luck has a lot to do with life.

I also think there were plenty of unpleasant experiences kids had, we just didn't hear about many of them nor so quickly. I could run like a deer and often did when things didn't look good.

Why are YOU out there? Or do you have a delivery service bring everything in? BOO!

" The best way to stay relatively safe in to travel in numbers and that's the bottom line. "

Or you can enter a convent and live in seclusion for the rest of your life.

So sad....protection does not equal 24hr surveillance, sorry. Protection equals educating, nurturing, demonstrating, all helping them grow up to be self-sufficient adults. Your way simply creates people unable to look after themselves, but maybe that's what you really want.....? And I don't see predators lurking everywhere, maybe you should see a professional about that one......and not putting my kids up for adoption anytime soon, thanks, I hope you're not in charge of anything important in society, that would really scare the hell out of me more than invisible folks lurking in the bushes outside my house....

ok ...nurturing means

1. take care of young thing: to give tender care and protection to a young child, animal, or plant, helping it to grow and develop
2. encourage somebody or something to flourish: to encourage somebody or something to grow, develop, thrive, and be successful
3. keep feeling: to keep a feeling in the mind for a long time, allowing it to grow or deepen

education means:

1. educating: the imparting and acquiring of knowledge through teaching and learning, especially at a school or similar institution
2. knowledge: the knowledge or abilities gained through being educated
3. instruction: training and instruction in a particular subject, e.g. health matters

protection means:

I DON'T SEE WHERE LETTING A CHILD WALK ALONE WOULD BE DOING ANY OF THOSE THINGS! As for predators everywhere have you looked at a map of where your phedophiles live? How about the percentage of ones who are not compliant with the law? ALL I can say CHILDREN are CHILDREN, we should be the ADULT not them!

lady, adulthood isn't a line they cross at some magical age or point in development, it's a process.....talking to a wall here, I'm done. I feel for your kids though, too bad for them. With you around all the time how much will that stink for a childhood?!? I'm sure you're as oblivious with them as you are out here online. Have a nice life, and again, try to enjoy your kids and let them enjoy their lives, they aren't museum pieces.....protect, yes, coddle and lock-up, no.

There is a distinct difference between a young child, and a child in their teens. Parents who smother their children, like you apparently plan on doing, inevitably end up being the parents on the local news pleading with the public to help them find their child who ran away from home or unable to figure out how their child ended up in the hospital of a drug overdose/alcohol poisoning.

Yes, protect your children, but that includes teaching them about the evils in the world and making them prepared to deal with those evils on their own. Do you really think a child who is never allowed to walk by themselves through high school are going to be prepared to deal with the potential dangers of a college campus? Do you honestly think we somehow magically develop some awareness of the world upon graduating high school?

TiredofBothSides - "With you around all the time how much will that stink for a childhood?!? I'm sure you're as oblivious with them as you are out here online. Have a nice life, and again, try to enjoy your kids and let them enjoy their lives, they aren't museum pieces.....protect, yes, coddle and lock-up, no."

alisha marie is my sister! She's imprisoned her 3 children for these 16+ years and counting. There will be no end to their imprisonment - they are not allowed to go to others houses - to have friends - except online - they are not allowed to go to CHURCH functions - they are only allowed to be with her all the live long day ... and her parenting skills STINK! Ah - and they will never think they can LEAVE her stinkiness! This is the life with the paranoid w/out meds to help them think straight!

Case in point...how would that boy know the proper and safe choices? The answer is, from his parents!

Sad, it seems the parents in this story didn't have a clue themselves...calling the neighborhood watch instead of the police??

look at the Jaycee Dugard story in the news again this week - and she was not 8 but 11 when she was abducted. scary...

Good point athena. If she was walking w/friends, she might have been passed by and not taken. The perp who is wanting to kidnap will keep hunting until he finds a child alone. There seem to be several that walk alone from the consensus of this board.

I am now a 72 year old grandfather, but as a kid I walked the railroad tracks to a place I used to fish from. I walked often the 3 miles to the private parochial school I went to. There were no school busses to take but there was the electric street car and then electric busses later on.

I do think of my grandchildren having to walk to school at some times. They are, or I think they are, less street wise than I was at their age. Even at 13 when I went to a private Parochial HS in Boston where there were often drunks and shady folks in doorways when I arrived or left my stop in the city transit system. That was an area I would not have gone to in the evening, it was a slum or ghetto if you want to call it that.

At that time I left home at 6:30AM to get to school on time, using Public transportation. I think that exposure was a part of my learning experience. All the protections and care in the world will not prevent a determined perp. Luck has a lot to do with life.

I also think there were plenty of unpleasant experiences kids had, we just didn't hear about many of them nor so quickly. I could run like a deer and often did when things didn't look good.

Aaron,

I agree with you. Our instant media coverage of every violent crime makes us perceive this world as a more violent place than it really is.

As far as children walking alone, my eight-year old son has a better memory for directions than I do. If his elementary school was within walking distance (unfortunately, it's two miles away), he'd be walking, provided that there were other children walking with him in a group. Of course, your comment about kids being driven to school rather than walking applies to my community as well.

I agree. I starting walking to school when I was six years old, thank God I didn't have helicopter parents. This kid would have been fine even though he got lost if we didn't tolerate so many weirdos and perverts in this country. Nobody is to blame here except the POS that killed this poor kid. If anybody needs the death penalty, this guy does. Let's accomodate him.